Lonely Hearts

John DabellI trained as a primary school teacher 25 years ago, starting my career in London and then I taught in a range of schools in the Midlands. In between teaching jobs, I worked as an Ofsted inspector (no hate mail please!), national in-service provider, project… Read more about John DabellAre you looking for love?It’s Valentine’s Day and our inbox has been inundated with lonely hearts requests. If you are looking for love, take your pick from the teachers below who are looking to meet that ‘someone special’.Aspirational tank-top wearing Y5 teacher, M, 55, seeks traditional teacher, assertive EYS Phase Leader with SOH to share increased workload. Must be able to remove PVA glue from trousers.  Permanent position available. Box no. 9923Outstanding Y3 teacher seeks fellow Y3 practitioner who knows his statutory duties. If you show me your principles of best practice then I’ll show you mine. Box no. 2020Adventurous 30 something KS1 female would like to meet a KS2 progressive male teacher willing to share assessment data, nights in marking and intense planning. No Pritt Stick. Box no. 1655Y5 recovering alcoholic with poor disciplinary record needs a second chance. If you are committed to safeguarding and need a new challenge then call me. Supply teachers welcome. Secure accommodation provided. Box no. 0091Insecure NQT would like to share sleepless nights worrying about fractions, music, lessons obs, parental complaints, teaching assistants with BO and staff room politics. Hayfever suffers welcome. Box no. 6011Free spirit, good with a protractor, seeks intense lower junior teacher to spend weekends talking level thresholds. If you are red and I am blue, then let’s make purple. Box no. 25Disillusioned Y4 teacher, 26, WLTM a happy-go-lucky subject leader undaunted by the occasional setback and my continual migraines. Box no. 2211Stressed out Deputy seeks Ofsted inspector for murder mystery weekend. Must not have any future commitment to inspections. Box no. 8755I teach. I don’t like kids. I’m a miserable git really, but teaching pays the mortgage. Join me. No fun ties please, especially maths/science ones. Terms and conditions apply. Box no. 4421Date required, not a prune. I love laminating but not as much as bullet-pointed lesson plans. If you can handle me then shoot. Box no. 2209Sustainable cat-loving SENCO with OCD seeks EAL teacher for data handling, show and tell and emotionally draining evenings. Box no. 1109Savant Y1 teacher with acres of patience and a high tolerance level for post-coital school chit-chat. No white socks, no sob stories and no haikus. Box no. 4901Strict Y6 teacher, M, 42, with a penchant for online SPaG tests seeks gifted and talented soul-mate who can use a guillotine, likes nonsense words and plays the trumpet. Box no. 6798Lost without levels? So am I. If you want to get on my level though you’ll need to ditch the poster paint and embrace my slow-carb release soul. Box no.1121Vulnerable, irritable, impulsive and flawed – this is how I roll. If you want to appear on my CV then let me show you my beautiful mind and bunions. Box no. 1629Village school teacher who started teaching using blackboards. Remember them? Wants mixed age experience, seeks inner-city Year 5/6 teacher partial to IEPs, flash cards and concept maps. Will travel. No vests or stab-vests. Box no. 3778Can you hold others to account and ensure consistency of approach? I hope so. No fuss Year Group Leader wants passionate self-starter to help her with her audit trial and possibly more. No time wasters. Box no. 2776Do you have energy, vision and vigour? Neither do I, which is why we should get together and talk shop. A settling in allowance and an unlimited supply of Post-It notes are just two of the benefits waiting for the right candidate. Box no. 3498Due to expanded growth I have an unexpected opening for a Y4 teacher who doesn’t mind wearing the trousers and doing the shopping. Free transportation to and from school. Box no. 5487Science teacher with curriculum Tourettes seeks understanding RE teacher for fun weekends brass rubbing and wild field trips! Box no. 2019If you’d like to get in touch with someone above, tweet this. We hope you meet that someone special …Related

Read Previous

Gamify, Visualise and Digitise

Read Next

Casserole Teachers

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *